The Hope Fantasies
The Hope Fantasy. This is a practice I have engaged in since I was little. A completely PG practice, I should add. Sorry if you've landed on this entry after a random Google search with specific expectations. You'll want to move on now.
The Hope Fantasy is really sort of a mix between a fantasy and a daydream. I think daydreams can involve fairly passive content, but fantasies requires some action. Again, I'm simply referring to activity. Verbs. Something happens in a fantasy. Unless you lead a super hectic life, at which point your fantasy may be simply to do nothing. Anyway, let me give you a couple of examples of Hope Fantasies from my past so you know what I'm actually talking about.
1. I used to rush home from school so that I could be in front of the television by 3pm. Why? MacGyver started at 3pm. If I got there late, or if my father forgot to pick my sister and I up completely, I would miss the opening credits and I'd have no idea if it was a Murdoc episode or not. Those were the best episodes. So, this was an everyday thing for me. I finally wised up and started setting the VCR (that's right, VCR) before leaving for school in the morning. I loved this show. I liked it so much that I developed a clear Hope Fantasy in which I became a part of it. I didn't focus on being cast as an actor at this point. No, no. I was imagining myself as someone who started out helping Mac solve a few mysteries and then we became soul mates. Nevermind the age gap. Those are not important in fantasies. In a fantasy, things just work.
2. Once I figured out I loved acting, I began to have the ever-familiar (if you are a performer) award ceremony Hope Fantasy. In this one, a magnificent award was bestowed upon me. I was at the ceremony and I would go through exactly what I would say. The speech varied some, but always--ALWAYS--was the part about how my high school drama teacher never cast me in any shows. Boy would she be feeling stupid right about then.
This is the basic idea. I'm sure everyone has been there at some point or another. The fantasies occur without warning for me. I don't sit down and plan to think about these things. They'll happen when I'm driving or in the shower. Or in a boring class. I might see, smell, hear, or remember something that brings one on. Lately, they've also come to occur with relationships. By lately, I mean since I've been old enough to have complicated relationships. In these instances, the fantasies usually involve the person I like or am involved with coming around to my point of view. I said they were fantasies, didn't I? In some cases, the person is revealing a bit of news that will make me really happy. The event usually involves a surprise. This is critical because I'm constantly working to figure things out ahead of time, even when I don't mean to be. I do this especially with movies and tv series. But I also try to anticipate if someone I know might be working to surprise me. It's not that I don't like surprises. I love them. But I think it's hard to really catch me off guard. (I realize this statement will possibly cause friend and family readers to view it as a challenge...see? Already anticipating.)
You may wonder why I call these Hope Fantasies? Or you may not. I'm going to explain anyway. This name only came to me recently. As in, a day ago. When a Hope Fantasy presents itself, it is likely to repeat--with a few variations--to an eventually annoying degree. It's worse when it involves a real relationship. At first, it's fun to imagine something on the absurd side actually occurring and shaking up my life. After two weeks of it, I've started to feel like a crazy person who has potentially lost touch with reality. But I realized--a day ago--that I've been paying attention to the wrong thing about this experience.
I've been focused on the often outrageous and unlikely events within the fantasy. I feel silly for seeing and imagining them in such detail because I know some small part of me actually believes the fantasy could come true. Maybe not with the MacGyver one. But with respect to relationships, yes. I am a romantic and I believe some people still employ Big Gestures in the name of love. I have little actual experience of this, so constantly recognizing that small spark of hope in the fantasy used to make me feel foolish.
What I know now is that the hope part is the whole point of these fantasies. That's the part I should pay attention to. It signals to me that, while I have a slightly jaded view of dating and the like, I also still have hope in the whole process. It persists in the face of disappointments and embarrassments. It fights through boredom and insists on being acknowledged. It gets my attention in whatever random and creative way necessary, urging me to see it. To not forget it.
Feisty little thing, hope. Thank goodness.
The Hope Fantasy is really sort of a mix between a fantasy and a daydream. I think daydreams can involve fairly passive content, but fantasies requires some action. Again, I'm simply referring to activity. Verbs. Something happens in a fantasy. Unless you lead a super hectic life, at which point your fantasy may be simply to do nothing. Anyway, let me give you a couple of examples of Hope Fantasies from my past so you know what I'm actually talking about.
1. I used to rush home from school so that I could be in front of the television by 3pm. Why? MacGyver started at 3pm. If I got there late, or if my father forgot to pick my sister and I up completely, I would miss the opening credits and I'd have no idea if it was a Murdoc episode or not. Those were the best episodes. So, this was an everyday thing for me. I finally wised up and started setting the VCR (that's right, VCR) before leaving for school in the morning. I loved this show. I liked it so much that I developed a clear Hope Fantasy in which I became a part of it. I didn't focus on being cast as an actor at this point. No, no. I was imagining myself as someone who started out helping Mac solve a few mysteries and then we became soul mates. Nevermind the age gap. Those are not important in fantasies. In a fantasy, things just work.
2. Once I figured out I loved acting, I began to have the ever-familiar (if you are a performer) award ceremony Hope Fantasy. In this one, a magnificent award was bestowed upon me. I was at the ceremony and I would go through exactly what I would say. The speech varied some, but always--ALWAYS--was the part about how my high school drama teacher never cast me in any shows. Boy would she be feeling stupid right about then.
This is the basic idea. I'm sure everyone has been there at some point or another. The fantasies occur without warning for me. I don't sit down and plan to think about these things. They'll happen when I'm driving or in the shower. Or in a boring class. I might see, smell, hear, or remember something that brings one on. Lately, they've also come to occur with relationships. By lately, I mean since I've been old enough to have complicated relationships. In these instances, the fantasies usually involve the person I like or am involved with coming around to my point of view. I said they were fantasies, didn't I? In some cases, the person is revealing a bit of news that will make me really happy. The event usually involves a surprise. This is critical because I'm constantly working to figure things out ahead of time, even when I don't mean to be. I do this especially with movies and tv series. But I also try to anticipate if someone I know might be working to surprise me. It's not that I don't like surprises. I love them. But I think it's hard to really catch me off guard. (I realize this statement will possibly cause friend and family readers to view it as a challenge...see? Already anticipating.)
You may wonder why I call these Hope Fantasies? Or you may not. I'm going to explain anyway. This name only came to me recently. As in, a day ago. When a Hope Fantasy presents itself, it is likely to repeat--with a few variations--to an eventually annoying degree. It's worse when it involves a real relationship. At first, it's fun to imagine something on the absurd side actually occurring and shaking up my life. After two weeks of it, I've started to feel like a crazy person who has potentially lost touch with reality. But I realized--a day ago--that I've been paying attention to the wrong thing about this experience.
I've been focused on the often outrageous and unlikely events within the fantasy. I feel silly for seeing and imagining them in such detail because I know some small part of me actually believes the fantasy could come true. Maybe not with the MacGyver one. But with respect to relationships, yes. I am a romantic and I believe some people still employ Big Gestures in the name of love. I have little actual experience of this, so constantly recognizing that small spark of hope in the fantasy used to make me feel foolish.
What I know now is that the hope part is the whole point of these fantasies. That's the part I should pay attention to. It signals to me that, while I have a slightly jaded view of dating and the like, I also still have hope in the whole process. It persists in the face of disappointments and embarrassments. It fights through boredom and insists on being acknowledged. It gets my attention in whatever random and creative way necessary, urging me to see it. To not forget it.
Feisty little thing, hope. Thank goodness.
Keep hoping Mindy! (and by the way, I did not stumble upon your blog because I was googling "fantasies" etc. I got the link from your facebook site.)
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