To Do List

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is." ~ Mary Anne Radmacher
  
When I did my post on fear, my sister encouraged me to stick with the list format. Since she's the only one to comment one way or another on lists, I'm gonna give her what's she asked for. This post will also feature a list. Mary Anne Radmacher took care of making it up for me. How nice of her! The above quote is one I came across ages ago at Barnes and Noble. It was on a cute little magnet and I liked the quote so much that I bought it. I use my refrigerator at least once a day, but I realized I now look right past that magnet. When I bought it, I had the hope that it would encourage me to live with more intention. In an effort to get back to that ideal, I'm going to make a list of the things Radmacher suggests and plot out ways to incorporate her inspiration in my everyday life. Here we go!

1. Live with intention. She's not starting me off with the easy stuff here. I read a book awhile back called The Red Book by Sera Beak. She talks a lot about living with intention and setting your intention for the day. I remember that resonating with me. It's sort of like the whole positive energy will bring positive energy thing. I'll admit - I buy into it. Okay, I didn't love The Secret and all the PR junk that followed it, but they were onto something at the core. If you start each day with a few moments of meditation or thought on what you want to accomplish for the day (spiritually, emotionally, physically), it helps to give you some accountability to follow through. So I'm going to start waking up just a wee bit earlier each day and spend that time writing down a sentence or two of my intention for the day. Simple enough. Moving on. 
2. Walk to the edge. Okay, well I could take the easy way out here and say this means walk to the edge, geographically speaking. I mean, the ocean ain't that far away from where I work. But I can guarantee, the extra time in traffic is enough to deter me from this. Good thing, too. I'm pretty sure Radmacher wasn't speaking literally. So, "walk to the edge." The edge of what? My dad likes to me about paradigms when I'm in some kind of rut. Doesn't matter what kind. I'm in a rut, it's time for the Paradigm Shift talk. A paradigm is like a set of beliefs or values that affect how we perceive reality and also how we react to that perception. Still with me? Okay. Well, sometimes I have a tendency to get paradigm paralysis, aka. a rut. I get stuck thinking about something (maybe a relationship or how I should go about getting myself an acting career) in one particular way. I get so used to thinking about it in that light, that when someone tries to suggest another view, I can't see it. So, for this one I think I'm going to try and walk to the edge of my paradigms, push their boundaries a little. Try to see things from the edge, maybe even get all the way outside of them! This may be hard to do everyday, but I'm gonna give it a go. 
3. Listen hard. Ooh, I like this one. I consider myself to be a pretty good listener already. I like to have my friends confide in me. I like it even better when I get to give them advice. But I don't think that's what this refers to. I think Radmacher is talking about listening even in the silences. If you've ever witnessed a dramatic pause done right, you know there can be brilliance in silence. Same goes for if you've ever had someone you loved just stare into your eyes and say a trillion things without a word. Now, the danger here is that I have a tendency to read into things. My imagination is a crazy thing when left to its own devices. So my plan is to not listen so much to what people say or don't say to me. I do that daily already. Instead, I'm gonna tune in big time to the universe. I think it's got a lot to say to us. Some people think of it as God, others have a more ethereal expression of what it is. But there's a lot of energy out there. And I know I'm not always tuned in. So I will add a few extra minutes onto my earlier wake up time, and get up slightly earlier to tune in and listen hard to what the day might be saying to me. Then I'll be better equipped (hopefully) to set my intention. It's all coming together...
4. Practice wellness. Okay, how did Radmacher know I've been neglecting my workout plan? In the interest of not waking up before I've had a chance to go to bed, I'm going to get better at practicing wellness after work. Usually I spend that time watching Netflix anyway. So I'll add in a workout and take out some show that I would have watched sitting still. Check. But that's not all. I think wellness goes far beyond physical exercise. Eating healthy? No problem there. I can't afford to eat out much and I'm addicted to the farmer's market. I eat pretty healthy already. But I can use more mental wellness at times. Any girl knows there are days where your entire wardrobe seems to belong to someone else because not a single thing fits your body. If I'm having one of these mornings, it can kill the whole day. Nevermind that I know it's mostly in my head. I wear the bad mood from head to toe. Well, no more. I'm going to practice daily emotional wellness where my body is concerned. And keep exercising. Pretty sure the two combined will cut down on those bad mood outfits. 
5. Play with abandon. This one I love. Just the sound of it. My cat does this very well. He doesn't give a crap if he looks ridiculous chasing a milk ring around. He enjoys it and he does it with his whole being. Catching that milk ring is the only thing that matters and when he catches it, he can't wait to catch it again. It's not moving, but he crouches down and wiggles his butt and waits for the perfect moment to sneak up on it before pouncing. Now, I am not contracting myself to pounce on a milk ring every day. But, I will start to take more risks in order to do something just for the sake of having fun. My job is rather dreary and I live by myself. If my cat is having more regular fun than I am, something has to change. Every day, do something silly without caring. Whether someone might see or not. Oh boy.
6. Laugh. Okay, I watch an episode of The Golden Girls almost every night before I go to bed. I think this counts. They are hilarious. I hope I'm that awesome when I'm older. In fact, I aspire to be that awesome before I get older. Hence this list. But back to laughing. I actually do this a good amount, but I know there are days when it seems there's nothing to laugh about. So, the plan on this one is to make sure those are the days I go out of my way to laugh. Even if it has to be at myself. Like the other night when I was trying to eat one of those freezer pops. For some reason it gets skinnier in the middle and wider on the ends. Well, the bottom part was stuck and I couldn't get it to squeeze through the skinny part so I could eat it. I was squeezing for my life when the little bit of it that had melted shot out the opening and nailed me in the eyeball. I was stunned at first, but then I laughed. I would have probably wet my pants had I seen it happen to somebody else. 
7. Choose with no regret. This one is a doozy. I have a hard time making decisions because I always think I'm going to wish I'd made a different choice after the fact. Sometimes I just don't do something because I'm not confident one way or another. Thank goodness I've been unable to get away with that on some of the major events of my life. I definitely want to be more conscious of this point from here on out. Anytime I feel myself starting to falter because I'm wrapped up in what someone else will think or whether something better will come along, I'm going to stop. I'll think of this list and I will choose what resonates with me. 
8. Appreciate your friends. Hmmm, well I don't think this means appreciate your friends by taking them out to eat individually or buy them things. Sorry, friends. But I could do more creative things to show those people who have been there for me that I love them for it. This Radmacher is a smart cookie. Almost done. 
9. Continue to learn. You got it. Happy to do so. Now, what am I going to learn? Well, I abandoned my pursuit of learning Italian some time ago. I always think, "I sure do want to get back to teaching myself Italian." So I could certainly pick that back up. Spend some time each day learning that. I think also I'll add that I'll continue to learn about myself and the people in my life. I think sometimes we all sort of forget that we're all works in progress. It's worth it to keep learning things about the people you've known forever. I think I'm always trying to change and grow. I hope I have lots of people in my life who are doing the same. Maybe nobody has taken the time to ask them what they're doing in their life that's new and exciting. Or even new but boring. Everyday, it's on the list. 
10. Do what you love. Whew. She threw down the gauntlet with that one. Part of me wants to say, "Easier said than done, Mary Anne. Back off!" But that is not in line with my new way of thinking. So instead I'll say, "Thanks for reminding me, Mary Anne. I'd sort of forgotten to make that a priority each day." And I will find a way to be creative every day. Writing this blog helps. It's one source of creativity. But I really need to find a way to make acting a part of my everyday life. And I think I need to start small for now, just start getting back in the habit somehow. Small is good. Small can be easy. I'll let you know what this turns out to be, but I will figure out something each day. 
11. Live as if this is all there is. No more wasted chances. No more standing still because I'm afraid of what might happen if the momentum starts to build. No more waiting for something to happen to me, I will seek it out. I won't just make lists, I'll act them out. I think she's also encouraging us to find inspiration in what we already have; in what we already are. I think I'd like to be friends with this lady.  :) 

So, that's the whole quote. It's a long one! Hope you're happy, sister. I'm excited to get to work on these. I'm sure there will be days I don't actually get to them all, but I'm certainly going to make a concentrated and well-intentioned effort at hitting each one. I'll try to let you know how it's going from time to time. Feel free to take the challenge yourself! And please, if you do, let me know how it goes!